


i died long ago (nothing can touch me now)

by warptimeandspace



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Episode: e067-069 Story and Song Parts 1-3, Reestablished Relationship, and you're different now but it's still good, comparisons of past and present, getting back together with your love after you regain your memories, the concept of home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 15:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18968239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warptimeandspace/pseuds/warptimeandspace
Summary: “You’re going to think it’s dumb,” Magnus says.“I might,” Taako says, “Try me anyways.”“I want to go home,”





	i died long ago (nothing can touch me now)

At the end of the day, there is a celebration. They gather on what remains of the quad on the moon base, torn up by the hunger but still much more put together than most of the buildings. Magnus had carefully climbed into the ruins of the dorm where he’s lived for the past year to remove blankets and food. It’s almost like a picnic, sitting on the ground and eating with their hands. Magnus is tired but happy.

As the celebration ends, Magnus drifts. He’s drifted a lot over the last few years, drifted from town to town after the razing of Raven’s Roost, to the Bureau of Balance when he couldn’t think of anywhere better to call home. He was searching for something back then, something vital that made his heart burn. Magnus wonders if he ever found it.

    A hand slides up to rest against his back, a motion repeated a million times over the past hundred years.

“You good, Big Guy?” Taako asks. Normally Magnus would say that Taako looks good; carefully put together in a way that appears chaotic to the untrained eye. He’s a mess right now. He’s covered in blood, much of it his, and wobbles on his feet. His clothes are torn, and his face is pale in a way that makes Magnus think that if Taako remains standing much longer he may be ill. Despite all of that his eyes are clear, bright and unclouded for the first time in years.

“I think so,” Magnus says, “You?”

Taako grins. “Absolutely baller.”

They’re quiet for a long moment. Magnus wraps his arm around Taako’s waist to help support some of his weight, careful to avoid the worst of the bruises he’s acquired.

“What do we do now?” Magnus asks.

“What do you want to do?” Taako replies.

“You’re going to think it’s dumb,” Magnus says.

“I might,” Taako says, “Try me anyways.”

“I want to go home,” Magnus says,

 

Magnus’ memories of Sol are vague. Humans aren’t designed to have a hundred years of memory and because of this, things have faded over the years. He remembers purple skies and a warmth that filled his bones, warmer than any other world they’ve visited. He remembers his fathers and older sister who loved him and taught him how to fight for what’s right. He remembers going to school at The Institute where he met the crew of the Starblaster, his family. He got into a fight at a bar that he’d visited twice previously because he’d only reached drinking age a month ago. Magnus liked Sol. He wouldn’t mind returning for a visit one day. It’s not his home anymore. Too much time has passed, too many things have changed.

Magnus desperately wishes Raven’s Roost could be his home. When he thinks of Raven’s Roost, he thinks of buildings that don’t exist. He helped build a bakery and a library, carving the ruins of the Raven Queen into the floorboards. He fell in love there, bleeding and breaking his bones and living for his newfound home. Magnus remembers the ghost of warm, calloused hands. Lavender wood polish. A charred ruin where his kitchen had been. Hand dug graves in the yard where he was planning to grow old. Magnus will return someday, will rebuild if he can, but it’s not going to happen today.

Magnus’ home was one of the only constants in his life for a hundred years.  Home is a metal starship with pictures taped to every spare space in the lounge. It’s the threadbare quilt that Magnus brought from Sol that he probably shouldn’t sleep with anymore because it is so worn. He patches it carefully every couple years because holding it he remembers his sister, sewing in their basement, covered in loose threads as she created a blanket for him to take beyond the stars. Home is the smell of the never lit candle that Taako keeps on his bedside table, honey and cinnamon with warm vanilla. It’s Magnus’ gym shorts kicked into the corner of Taako’s room because they’re both lazy and he keeps on forgetting to take them back to his hamper. The cool air on his face reminding Magnus that he is alive as he stands above deck in the middle of the night. Record players that play familiar songs from dozens of dead worlds on vinyl. A kiss goodnight that pushes a lifetime of terror away.

Taako nods, squeezing Magnus’ arm around his waist. “Home? Come with me.”

 

 “I’m going to hang with Lup after you fall asleep,” Taako warns as he sorts through his dresser. They haven’t been here in a decade, but he moves easily in the space. He throws a tee shirt and boxers on the bed next to where Magnus is sitting before searching for his pajamas.  “Just, you know, so you know.”

Magnus used to panic when he woke up alone in the middle of the night, sure Taako had died while he was sleeping. When Taako was gone Magnus slept on the floor of Lup and Barry’s room. He didn’t sleep alone for almost seventy years.

“I can go sleep in my room,” Magnus says, “It’s fine, seriously.”

Taako raises an eyebrow. “Really?” He asks skeptically.

“I learned to sleep alone,” Magnus says quietly, his chest aching. He thinks of the near sleepless nights before he and Julia went steady followed by the deep, restorative sleep that found him sleeping next to her warm body. Insomnia that overwhelmed Magnus after her death. The battle towards halfway restful sleep he’s been fighting for the past few years. “It’s fine.”

Taako turns around, clothes in hand. He steps in front Magnus, close enough for him to touch. Magnus doesn’t.

“I’m glad somebody loved you,” Taako says.

“I’m so fucking sorry you were alone,” Magnus replies.

“Not your fault,” Taako says, “I’m not mad at you.”

“You’re not?” Magnus says, “I did get married.”

“And I’ve got a boyfriend. Do you regret it?” Taako asks.

 _“No,”_ Magnus says immediately. He loved Julia, still does love her, like breathing. He thinks about her smile, her laugh, her passion for doing good, all the time. He came home to her; was ready to spend a lifetime with her. Magnus could never be sorry for loving Julia, never regret marrying her.

“Me neither,” Taako says. “I think you’d like Kravitz.”

“Is he just as big a nerd as he was when he was trying to kill us?” Magnus asks with a wry grin.

“Bigger,” Taako says fondly, “He’s ridiculous. I fell in love with him against my will.”

“That’s great,” Magnus says softly, “I’m really happy for you.”

 

 “I had a conversation with Kravitz before he had to head out to work,” Taako says, suspiciously casual.

“About what?” Magnus asks.

“This,” Taako says. He leans in and kisses Magnus firmly. Magnus pulls Taako closer reflexively, one hand on his lower back the other at the base of his neck. When Magnus attempts to compare this to their kisses of the past there are few similarities. Magnus kisses carefully now while Taako presses firmly against his lips, crowding close. Taako is thinner than he was before and Magnus is just bigger in general, both taller and broader. However, some things remain the same after all these years. The smell of blood and sweaty bodies. The way Taako smiles against Magnus’ mouth. Magnus’ heart beating faster and faster the closer Taako gets to him. Magnus pulls back after a measure, face flushed.

“What?” He asks dumbly, his mind blank.

Taako snorts. “I’m still in love with you, dumbass,” he says. “Krav and I are going to live basically forever. We’ll have at least five hundred years together. You and I’ve got fifty more if we’re lucky. I’d like to spend them together, all of us.”

“You and me and Kravitz?” Magnus asks.

“Yes? I think so. If you’re cool with it?”

Magnus thinks. He knows Taako, knows who he was and who he is now. He knows that he loves to cook even though he’s scared of it. He knows that his sister is his favorite person in the world and that he would kill for her. He knows that Taako likes to sleep on the outside of the bed. He insists he doesn’t snore before falling asleep and snoring as loud as the bond engine. He’s very particular about the coffee he drinks and likes floral sodas because they make him feel fancy. The nicknames he gives people get more and more ridiculous the more he likes you, which is why Magnus is _Maggie, Mags, Magpie, Mango Tango,_ and so many more. He loves fiercely despite his protests that he doesn’t like or trust anybody. He is probably Magnus’ best friend.

Magnus doesn’t know Kravitz well. He knows that he likes games, gambling specifically, and that Taako has left the dorm no less than four times huffing about how he has to go bail out his dumb boyfriend from another Fantasy Uno game that went very, very wrong. Taako hasn’t disclosed much about their dates but Magnus knows that he smiles after he sees Kravitz and has heard them talking through the walls late into the night. He knows that Kravitz almost died today and he still stayed and fought for them. He puts on fake accents to make his work more interesting. Magnus thinks he was a bard once because he heard Kravitz singing over Taako’s stone of farspeech once. It made Magnus feel warm all over, charged by more than just magic. He doesn’t love Kravitz right now, he doesn’t know him well enough for that yet, but he likes him. Magnus likes him _a lot._

“Okay,” Magnus says, “Let’s try it.”

Taako kisses him again and Magnus didn’t know he was missing this, but he was. He missed being close like this, Taako’s hand on his chest to feel his heartbeat. Missed his hands in Taako’s hair. Missed feeling _light_ like this.

“Okay,” Taako says as he leans back, “I am not going to make out with you when we’re this gross. I have standards.”

“Generally, I meet all your standards,” Magnus says with a grin.

“I mean, you might meet most of them right now but if you get into my bed all bloody and sweaty and gross that might change,” Taako says. “What do you think of that?”

“I’m thinking that I’ll bathe before I lie down in your bed?”

“Beautiful,” Taako says. “I might even kiss you goodnight.”

**Author's Note:**

> yall finals are over here is the first fic of the summer, which builds off of my love of taako/magnus/kravitz and also my need for world building character's pasts. title from the poet greek poet hecuba, because i saw the line on tumblr and liked it a lot.  
> i'm on tumblr [@warptimeandspace](https://warptimeandspace.tumblr.com/) and i'd love it you prompted me!


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